


An Indelible Mark

by Cali_se



Series: Beautiful ~ Dangerous ~ Perfect [5]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, M/M, Protective Walter White
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cali_se/pseuds/Cali_se
Summary: Jesse has an anxious wait...Walt hadn't been gone long when Jesse's phone rang. He grabbed it, hoping against hope that Walt would say he was coming back after all, that he would be there all night
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Walter White
Series: Beautiful ~ Dangerous ~ Perfect [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557226
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	An Indelible Mark

**Author's Note:**

> Continuing the series with a POV switch, from Walt to Jesse.  
> This series ranges from T to E rating.

Walt hadn't been gone long when Jesse's phone rang. He grabbed it, hoping against hope that Walt would say he was coming back after all, that he would be there all night. What he actually said stabbed a shot of adrenaline into the pit of Jesse's stomach.

"Jesse, I think I've found them."

Unsure whether to be glad of the news, or terrified, Jesse took a steadying breath.

"Where?"

"Not far from your place."

"Shit..."

"Sit tight, Jesse, I'll talk to you later." 

"But, what--"

And with that, Walt hung up. 

A little shaky, Jesse took out a cigarette and sat down to smoke it, trying to keep calm. After a while his head began to ache. He rubbed his eyes and considered taking something stronger to take the edge off things, but decided against it. He knew the thought would gnaw away at him unless he did something to take himself away from the temptation. In the end, he wound up drinking several cups of strong coffee, which didn't help him at all, making him feel so wired that he couldn't keep still. For the next couple of hours, unable to settle, he anxiously moved from room to room and from activity to activity, every now and then checking his phone to make sure he hadn't somehow missed a message or a call, only to be disappointed.

Eventually he stopped fidgeting and sat down. Not for the first time, he imagined the scene that might be unfolding elsewhere. It started out fine, with Walt fully in command, before spiralling out of control as more men appeared from around every corner, armed and psychopathic, leaving Walt in a crumpled heap on the ground as they ran away.

"C'mon, this is Mr White, yo... he knows what he's doing," Jesse said aloud, then he closed his eyes with a sigh. "Please call me." 

Walt's hands on him during their night in the motel had been expert and gentle, and the sheer passion of their second encounter had left an indelible mark on Jesse's being. That tenderness, that passion... god, how he longed to feel it all again now.

For a moment he considered venturing out, maybe to grab a carton of milk from the store, or to see Badger for a beer or a smoke... anything to remove himself from this rotating carousel, but then the paranoia set in again and he decided to shut out the world and curl up on the couch instead.

He was just lighting up his umpteenth cigarette when his phone signalled a call. He only let it ring out once before answering it.

"Jesse, it's me."

"Thank god! Where are you? I've been thinking all kinds of stuff here; are you okay?"

"I'm fine." 

"How are you so calm? Did you talk to them?"

"Oh, them... I just offered them a deal, said we'd teach them our method, suggested we share each other's contacts..."

"What? I can't believe you'd do a thing like that. They're huge assholes."

"And I can be a _much_ bigger one, Jesse."

"But--"

"We won't be going through with any of it. Don't you see? This is just to keep 'em sweet. They think we're rattled--"

"I _am_ rattled!"

"But when we meet them again, they'll be properly introduced to my way of things and we'll finish this nonsense once and for all."

"You tricked them?"

"It was easy. They swallowed it all. They're just dumb hoodlums, Jesse. Nothing more."

"And I was dumb to get jumped, is that it?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant, they're easy to fool if you know how. You can stop worrying for now, okay? We'll get our money back and they'll get a big fat sweet nothing!"

"What d'you say to them, _exactly_?"

"You don't need to know the details. Just trust me. I won't let you down. Listen, I've got to go, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'll call you later, okay?"

And with that, he was gone. 

"Just like that, huh?" Jesse said aloud, as he put out his cigarette. "Fuck!"

Loneliness was an emotion Jesse had lived with all his life. Even in the midst of a crowd there was a feeling of being lost, needing to have something additional on board to make him more interesting, exciting, sexier. Getting laid, getting high, had each served as a crutch to make everything better. It had usually worked too, until the come down when the sense of emptiness returned like a smack in the guts. In Walt's arms, he hadn't needed anything else to feel good, and when the climax had peaked, the buzz had remained. He'd only needed Walt. He still needed him. _Mr White_ , of all people. The world had tipped over, sending him flying.

He'd almost given up hope of hearing from Walt again that day when, at almost midnight, his cell phone beeped: _Can talk now, can you?_

He replied _yes_ and instantly his phone rang.

"Hey."

"Hey, Jesse. How're you doing?"

"Missing you. Where are you?"

"In my car."

"It feels kinda weird, you sneaking out to talk to me."

"I know, but I had to make sure you're okay. And I needed to talk to you. I want to tell you how much all of this - us - means to me."

"Are you gonna tell me it's over now?"

"Absolutely not. I know I should, but I can't... not yet." 

"But one day, right?"

"Let's not analyse it. Let's just go with it, huh? Are you going to try to get some rest?"

"I'll try."

"I wish I could hold you while you fall asleep. That was... something else." 

"All of it was something else. So... when do we meet those guys?"

"Thursday at eight. Then they'll get what's coming to them." 

"I'm not killing anybody. Just so you know." 

"You won't have to, Jesse. Anyway, they'll be turning on each other by the time we're done."

"How?"

"You'll see. We've been here before, we can do it again. "

"I don't know..."

"We can do this, Jesse. _You_ can do this. Just let me do the talking. Okay? Jesse?"

"Okay."

"I've got to go. I'll be missed pretty soon. We've got company."

"Who?"

"Just family."

"Is your cop brother-in-law there?"

"Yep."

"Oh, my god."

"I know... I don't think they're ever going to leave. I'm trying to stay sober so I don't let anything slip. I've been thinking about you the whole time. Those eyes of yours, and your kiss... oh, _god_ , Jesse, your kiss..." 

Walt's voice melted as he spoke, like chocolate in the sun. Jesse's stomach followed suit. 

"I want to kiss you now," Walt continued. "I'm _aching_ for you."

"Shut up."

Jesse could sense an answering smile spreading across Walt's face. "Night, Jesse."

"G'night."

As he lay down to try to get some rest, fear and trepidation still lurked deep down in the pit of Jesse's stomach, but there was something else there now too, smooth like balm, soothing away the turmoil threatening to overwhelm him. It held him as he closed his eyes, and as it wrapped both arms around him as he drifted off to sleep, it felt a lot like love.


End file.
